Me Me Me

When I think how quickly basic forms of communication have changed in the still-young 21st century, I feel like I have just emerged from a cave. Here’s where I am technologically: I spend my workdays communicating via e-mail, which doubles productivity and is wonderful for folks like me who hate wasting time on the phone. I write and edit everything on the computer, which quadruples productivity from the dark ages (um, the early 90s) when I wrote articles on yellow legal pads. (Whaaaa?!) In other words, I can do the work of three people because of computers. That’s a good thing.

But cell phones? BlackBerries? Electronic calendar thingies? Ha ha ha. I have a circa-2004 cell phone that I never turn on unless I am traveling or need to call my darling husband and inquire how late he will be at the restaurant where I am invariably waiting for him. I do not know my own cell phone number. I write my appointments in a pocket-size leatherette Manhattan Diary that has handy street maps of said borough in the back.

Meanwhile, my adorable daughter can work magic on her beloved iPhone, whizzing through e-mails and typing 70 words a minute on that tiny keypad as she texts her 500 closest friends and colleagues day and night. My adorable son uses his always-active cell phone as a de facto watch.

And my DH? I joke — actually I am dead serious — that if the BlackBerry had existed when our children were little, we would be divorced today. That BlackBerry?! OMG. To say that it is an addiction, an obsession, an object of adoration, is underestimating the power of the Berry. It is truly a way of life — and clients know this, so they don’t hesitate to keep in touch and make demands 24/7. Some people (my DH) embrace this, and happily respond to three e-mails at intermission. I don’t want to be in touch with anybody 24/7. Basically, I want to be left alone. 

Okay, my DH just came in and cheerfully called me a Luddite: “British workmen who, between 1811 and 1816, rioted and destroyed textile machinery in the belief that it would diminish employment.” Huh. I don’t think rioting would make him put down the BlackBerry. So I grit my teeth and wish them both a great day.