Me Me Me

Is it possible to be well-dressed without something fabulous on your feet? Boy, oh boy, do I wish I could wear stylish shoes! I look pretty nice in high heels, although there is scant evidence of it since I am physically unable to keep them on for more than 15 minutes at a time. I’ll spare the gory details of what’s wrong with my feet, but the only shoes that truly feel good are three-year-old lattice flats from J. Crew that have been resoled multiple times. If anything rubs any part of my feet, trouble follows. This is a wee bit of a problem since I live in a city that requires constant walking. And I like to walk fast! 

My dream shoe would be sky-high Christian Louboutin pumps with those wonderful devil-red soles. I would be six feet tall in those! Feel the power! But I would never pay for a pair because I would not be able to wear them. When I tried to get cute one year on Tony night and squeeze into strappy satin heels, I ended up hobbling down 50th Street in the middle of the night like a lame racehorse on its way to the slaughterhouse. “Shoot me now!” I cried, but nobody paid attention at 2AM. 

So when the weather gets colder and the lattice flats have to be put away for another year, I contemplate my wardrobe of old-lady Cole Haans and worse — brands and styles that would make a fashionista shriek with horror. I feel like strapping on a sandwich board that says, “I have good taste! But nothing feels good on my hideous feet!”